Overseeing the Self: a meditation

The most important practice is to turn the attention of the Overseer toward the “lower” self. The main window of the lower self is a certain sensation located in the thoracic spine at a level halfway between the heart and solar plexus. What can be sensed from here is the vibrational level of what is taking place in all three centers. On first turning toward this point, there is almost always an experience of remorse, because what is actually taking place is seen to be a loop tape. The Overseer, sometimes called “real I”, was already present, as it always is, but had been distracted and deprived of its rightful role in the psyche by claims upon it from egoistic feelings and thoughts. Usually, not wishing to face this, one quickly turns away. But with practice one learns to accept the facts and stay a while; under the light of consciousness, the feedback loop weakens, and more becoming inner relationships begin to take place.

Often this is experienced as a kind of silence, an unusual absence of the monkey noise to which one is unconsciously accustomed. Continued staying reveals a rich world of inner impulses striving to emerge from their repressed condition. These impulses are irrigated and nourished by the attention upon them. One must exercise a determined sincerity and respect for the processes of growth that now renew themselves.

It is never possible to stay for long. Inevitably a fall occurs. Some association from outside or inside awakens an egoistic impulse and the Overseer yields to its hypnotic influence.

The whole process usually lasts only seconds. It is foolish to pretend that it is possible to remain conscious for minutes. Most “exercises” such as are done in meditation, or at pre-determined times in daily life, constitute just such a pretense. What is important is not duration, but frequent re-turning toward oneself, as often as possible. It takes no time at all out of life, and in fact doubles time, because during the actual overseeing of the self, impressions are doubled—the impression itself, and the impression of what the Overseer sees.